Carr: There’s left baggage galore at this hotel

Another outbreak of Trump Derangement Syndrome: Bloomberg reports that the world’s first “anti-Trump hotel” will be opening in Washington next spring.

The daughter of a Hong Kong developer says her 209-room building will be located near the National Mall, about a half-mile from the luxurious new Trump International Hotel, which is in the city’s old Post Office Building.

I’m trying to imagine the sort of amenities that will be available to the Beautiful People at the Moonbat Arms.

When you register at a normal hotel, the room clerk asks you for a credit card. At the Moonbat, the clerk wants to see your EBT card.

The Gideon Bibles have been replaced by Gideon Qurans.

We don’t call it “the lobby,” sir, it’s the Safe Space.

You know how in Whole Foods’ parking lots, they usually have at least a couple of “charging stations” for coal-fired vehicles like Priuses and Teslas? At the Moonbat, every space in the garage will include a charging station.

No flush toilets at the Moonbat Arms — composting is so much more sustainable for the planet, don’t you know. And, per Sheryl Crow’s instructions, only one sheet of toilet paper per guest per night.

Need anything? Call the concierge — he’s standing by in case you’d like to report a hate crime.

Sorry, no elevators or escalators, just bike lanes.

The traditional complimentary chocolates on the pillows at night have been replaced by marijuana brownies and Hillary Clinton cough drops.

In the morning, outside your door you will find a complimentary copy of The Washington Post — unless Bernie Sanders has stolen it.

In-room coffee makers were going to be Cuisinarts, but now that they’re boycotting Sean Hannity, it’s gotta be Keurig.

Kids from 8 to 80 will love our new aquatic center — be sure to try the Ted Kennedy Oldsmobile Delmont water slide. It empties into a wading pool.

Spa service available in-room. For a masseuse, dial A-L-G-O-R-E. For a Botox shot, call P-E-L-O-S-I. For Potomac yacht service, K-E-R-R-Y.

Unlimited free Wi-Fi service at the Anthony Weiner Business Center.

On the mezzanine, stop by our food court — the Kennedy-Dodd Sandwich Shoppe, the Bernie Sanders Bakery, where there’s always a bread line, and top off your meal with a fine panatela from the Bill Clinton Cigar Emporium.

Opening soon: the Elizabeth Warren Native American Casino & Gaming Center.

Ladies, cisgendered and otherwise, when you need to freshen up, please consider our deluxe Marion Barry Powder…

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